Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
