laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize