You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
