Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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