She is in my trunk
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
