i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
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Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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