thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize