OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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