I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
