I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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