using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
