Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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