I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My bed smells like the plague
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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