I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
