I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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