Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
