I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
