My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
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How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
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Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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