Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
