i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
