Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
