sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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