remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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