kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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