All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
