I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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