I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
did you just send me my own nude
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
