I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
