is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
