You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
