He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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