Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
