you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
