I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
