we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
