yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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