I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
