She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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