I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
