You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Who wears a wallet chain?!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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