Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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