is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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