So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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