sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
