So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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