i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
