Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
