Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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