There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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