tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
