sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
