Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?

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(404): View more from Georgia

i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.

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(302): View more from Delaware

He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".

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(330): View more from Ohio

not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?

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(319): View more from Iowa

you have failed as an in class drinking partner.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work

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(334): View more from Alabama

Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.

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(618): View more from Illinois

all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse

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(512): View more from Texas

dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore

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