I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
