Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize