I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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