I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
