What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
