i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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