so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
