there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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