You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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