woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
