he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just high enough for therapy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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